I will apologize in advance for the potential this list has for boring you silly, and creating in you the urge to rip your own hair out at the root. It is what it is, and it IS going up - clearly, as you're reading it.
1. I have outrageous sensory aversions.
2. The texture of baby formula makes me want to murder.
3. My children are the greatest things ever to happen to me, followed closely by my husband.
4. I almost never talk about myself, so you should be counting your lucky stars. (Not that I actually expect you to care a lick about anything on this list, or to actually count your stars, lucky or otherwise...just saying.)
5. This list is causing me to confront some serious personal demons.
6. I'm not even completely certain the nature of my demons.
7. I'm 21 years old, I do NOT like to drink for the purpose of getting drunk, so the jokes are unnecessary at this point.
8. One of my parents' birthday presents to me is that my mom is taking me on a wine tasting tour, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
9. I (lamely) aspire to becoming one of those bitchy wine-drinking snobs - without the snob part.
10. If you asked anyone who knows me well to describe me, one of their first adjectives would include "psycho".
11. The people who actually know me well can be counted on less than one whole hand.
12. Those few people seem to change day to day.
13. I've broken almost every bone in my body at least once because of gymnastics.
14. The only breaks NOT from gymnastics were my femur and my thumb.
15. My femur was probably THE single most difficult injury I have ever recovered from.
16. I have RE-learned how to walk exactly 9 times.
17. In my life, I've undergone 5 major surgeries.
18. My parents only know of 2.
19. Thunderstorms are the only guaranteed sound I know of that will put me to sleep in less than an hour.
20. The thunderstorm has to actually be happening in real-time where I am to lull me to dream-land. Those CD's are relaxing, but a waste of time beyond that.
21. Yes, I am very well aware of my nuroses.
22. The sound of my husband snoring could wake me out of a dead sleep, and it's not even that loud.
23. He snores all night, every night. Why, no, I don't sleep very much, how did you know?
24. In the 2 days following the start of my blog, I instantly became a better version of me. I am very well aware of how cliche and stupid that seems, 'kay?
25. Did I already mention how much I hate making lists of personal info? No? Well I hate it! But you don't know me, so I felt it was completely necessary. I'm doing it out of the pure goodness of my heart.
26. I seriously doubt anyone's still reading at this point.
27. If you're still reading at this point, leave me a comment letting me know how I can contact you electronically so that we can become the most bestest of friends onthe internet, OK?
28. That thing up there ^^...yea, I was just kidding about the whole thing.
29. Really though, if you wanna be internet friends I'd be totally cool with that, too.
30. I don't expect you to see the humor above. I'm not a funny person; I know this. I've totally accepted my grievous lack of teh funny.
31. My husband hasn't the slightest idea that I've started writing about our lives on the web.
32. I've already decided, however, that I'm not at all concerned about that fact. He won't find it, as he's not looking for it. What he doesn't know won't anger him.
33. Despite all the seeming hostility I harbor where he's concerned, my husband is my best friend and I physically can't stay mad at him.
34. While I swear on my children's lives that everything I write about our family is entirely true, I will freely admit that I'm making it all up as I go along...in the flying by the seat of my pants kinda way.
35. I just realized that I may be forced to fess up to my blog with to my husband if it ever starts getting any serious traffic and I get any profit from having adsense ads on my page.
36. I want someone to design a layout to my own personal specifications, but I have exactly zero money that I could use to hire anybody to do it.
37. I too a web design class in high school, but it was mostly so that I could screw around on the internet during a class without getting in trouble.
38. I still haven't fully determined what my goals and/or aspirations are for this piece of work.
39. Sadly, I live most of my life that way...not knowing where I want to go with things.
40. I think that would be the top of my list of things I'd like to change about myself if it were possible...that I don't plan far enough ahead when I start things.
41. As a direct result of my lack of planning, a lot of my life is unguided.
42. This list will probably be remade with completely different facts, thus making it more like 200 Things About Me.
43. Having said that, I won't even be able to finish this first list cuz that's what happens in my life.
44. There are a lot of gaps and very important details that make me, me, that I guarantee I will not be able to shorten well enough to include in this list.
45. At some future time, I promise to give you the chance to ask me any random questions - well, within reason - or to call bullshit on me.
46. The first Halloween the Husband and I spent together, his friends' pure-bred German Rottweiler bit my hand.
47. I have 2 scars from her - that bitch.
48. The dog's name was Dojah Bleu.
49. She bit someone else's kid after biting me, and Animal Control made them put her down - she had a temperment problem, and a bad one at that.
50. Surprisingly, I've made it halfway through my list in one go. Mark your calendars, yo!
51. I promise to have more meaningful things of note to say in the future.
52. I know better than to start lengthy lists late at night. I always end up losing my train of thought, going off on tangents, and inevitably falling asleep.
53. I will eventually provide a much better piece of information about myself, but first I'll have to get to know myself considerably better.
54. Growing up, I always wanted to be a writer for an advice column, but I never had any good advice to give to anyone.
55. I don't know how to dance in any sort of adult, appropriate, or mature way...it's a bit disheartening.
56. My mother wanted to put me in anger management classes/therapy, but never did.
57. The local police department had a file on me when I was growing up, on account of I ran away too many times. Not to mention all the fights they thought I started-in actuality, I was breaking them up.
58. Every day that I don't keep to some semblance of a schedule for the sake of my children, I ache to the depths of my soul for such tragic Mommy FAIL.
59. I want a baseball team's worth of babies of my own, but I've been told my body isn't capable of it now, after 2 C-sections only 13 months apart.
60. Maxing out my kiddie-count at 4 will have to do - if I can talk the hubs into that many.
61. When my brother was very little, I used to tell him that he was adopted if I was upset with him; he always believed me because I'm 12 years older than he is.
62. Hypothetical situations make my skin crawl, but I use them ridiculously often to judge people's reactions to things I've done.
63. I just realized that I have a lot of secrets I'm desperately trying to keep from the people who mean the very most to me.
64. Books are my escape; my addiction.
65. I'm forever working my hardest to escape the reality of a lot of my situations into books.
66. Never do I err on the side of caution.
67. Large, group events are well outside of my comfort zone.
68. Regularly, I'm described as antisocial.
69. Big crowds make me nervous, really nervous.
70. My father-in-law creeps me out in the extreme.
71. I'll write a letter-post about it sometime soon.
72. It's nearly impossible for me and my sister to get along for any length of time without violence.
73. Father dearest thinks I have rage issues.
74. I think he's an arrogant asshole who can shove his opinions of me right up his fat nose. The fact that he's right has absolutely no relevance.
75. When I was first learning how to write, I tried to teach myself to be left-handed because my mom is left-handed and someone told me that lefties live longer.
76. After just 2 days of blogging, posting 2 measly posts in that time, I can already tell that I need to keep it up and post as close to every day as possible to keep myself sane.
77. My kitty cat, McGee, is sick. But I don't know what's wrong with him or how to get him healthy again, and it makes me sad.
78. I desperately want to change cell phone service providers because Sprint sucks a butt.
79. I'm really struggling to come up with personal details to share with you poor, unsuspecting folk.
80. From this point on, the relevance of anything I have to say will be questionable at best.
81. You have been fairly warned in advance, don't complain to me if you're displeased and/or annoyed.
82. I'm way too nice for my own good.
83. On a regular basis, I annoy the crap out of my husband by offering to help our friends with the little things.
84. There is no brain-to-mouth filter built into my model. This routinely causes me to hurt people's feelings, offend others' better sensibilities, and get myself into lotsa trouble.
85. Because of my short fuse and hot burning rage, I have a foul mouth.
86. One of my biggest fears is being unable to control it around my children once they start repeating everything I and/or my husband say(s).
87. I despise being in the spotlight, but I pray for my attempts at helping others to be noticed and acknowledged.
88. My heart aches to feel my love reciprocated by the people I love most; it kills me to have my efforts at being affectionate ignored, or worse yet - rejected.
89. I decided to give blogging a try in a last ditch effort to regain some semblance of my last shred of any sanity remaining hidden in me.
90. Has anybody else noticed how long a list of 100 facts/items actually is? I think I deserve to treat myself with something at least moderately fantastic and/or phenomenal if, by the grace of God, I somehow manage to come up with the rest, yes?
91. The house we are currently living in also houses 8 cats and 2 dogs. Sadly, 1 of the dogs has had cancer for the last 3 years, and has been inhumanely allowed to suffer by both of my in-laws.
92. Considering how close I am to completing this list, I have now begun considering possible ways to reward myself whenever I finally do finish it.
93. Now that my brain knows that I'm thinking about a reward, it has flat refused to cooperate with me.
94. This postpartum brain I call mine has begun failing me with increasing frequency.
95. Despite the fact that we currently have a completely adequate and acceptable dwelling (that technically belongs to my in-laws, we just live in it), we are looking into a few other options for places we could call our own. Not to mention, places that won't also shelter 8 shedding cats, a dog with cancer, and another dog with terrible hot spots, both of who stink to high heavens. A healthy living/breathing environment for my kids to grow up in.
96. Having only 1 car to cart our family around in is very inconvenient when it is also the only car to get the Husband to work 15 miles away with limited chance(s) to leave in the case of some potential family emergency at home where I have no vehicle to transport the kids to wherever.
97. As well as looking for a potential home, we are seriously looking into buying a car from a family friend - something sturdy and dependable enough to get the Husband to and from work, and leave me with a reliable vehicle to take the kids to the doctor, dentist, mall, or to a play date.
98. It is my deepest desire to be able to, one day, own a brand new car, and I have been promised that it will happen sooner than later.
99. I spent 15 years of my life playing what I think is 1 of the most difficult sports in the world, and it kept me in excellent shape with an effective metabolism. I quit playing soccer and it showed: my thighs turned to jelly, my arms lost all their tone, and my nearly-six-pack-abs became more like a pony keg.
100. Once our lives settle down and we can work out an easy (enough) schedule, it is my implicit plan to get back into an exercise routine to get back down to my ideal weight and the feel-good place that being flabby has taken me out of.
Finally! I finished my list, and it only took me 5 days. As for the reward I give myself, I'd like to take suggestions from anyone crazy enough to actually read all the way down to here. Thank you for your time, and I apologize for wasting your time and killing your brain and all the cells therein.
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