You Deserve the Truth

Oh, My Babies...
So many things neither of you are yet old enough - let alone anywhere close to ready - to know and/or understand. All the complexities of life...the many hardships that come with acquiring age. Would that I could freeze you in this, your gloriously simply and perfect youth...before you become jaded by the cold, hard realities of the big, big world. But for all the hurting I would be saving you from, I would similarly be doing you a very grave disservice, not fully preparing you for the real world. So no matter how deeply it may pain me, I will simply explain the truth.
Notice I didn't say cleanly. That's because there is no such thing as a clean line to the truth. And, honestly, there is no one single truth that spans all reality. As there are forever two sides to every coin, so are there two sides to all truths - betimes more sides that just two, depending on the people involved. So I can only tell you MY truth; and I can only tell IT to the best of my own knowledge and understanding, owning from the very beginning that it very seldom makes full or complete sense, even to me
For, easily, the entire of length of our marriage thus far, your father and I have struggled to find a balance that works for us; a balance between being a parenting team and being a young, newly-ish married couple. The difficulty lies in my seeming inability to switch between the two roles at the drop of a hat. I'll freely admit that I do NOT handle transitions like that very well at all. It's just not within my scope of abilities. I work on it, I do. And I'm getting better, too. But I can't seem to get myself to a level of ability that suits your father well enough.
And then, among other issues...well that's just not a topic that I need to put out there like that for you two. At least, not right now. God only knows how that conversation would or possibly could scar either of you. Once we've gotten a chance to develop the type of mom-to-child relationship where you can talk to me about anything...we'll take thigns from there, and just see how things are on an individual level.
Now, my brain is shot and I can't bear to think about all this any longer. Maybe someday when we're all older - at least a little bit - I'll revisit it.
Regretfully honestly,
~The Mommy