Never the Same

So, knowing myself as well as I do ('cause that doesn't sound/read like the dumbest thing ever), I should've known better than to watch the brave woman, Lynsee, give birth live on the internet. It was amazing to watch, don't get me wrong. But because of my own 2 deliveries, it was one of the hardest things I've ever decided to do. Now I just have to figure out how to deal with the overwhelming feeling of failure that my own body wouldn't let me safely bring my own children into this world. That, and the all-consuming desire to have more babies, like, NOW. (Disregard the lack of logic in that - seeing as I couldn't even get knocked-up NOW...what with my medical intervention, as well as the stupid distance between me and my husband.)
And now, if you'll excuse me...I need to go curl up in bed alone and bawl my unexpectedly hormonal eyes out. When I come up for air, I'll get back to business, on a MUCH lighter note, so as not to send myself into a downward spiral toward the pits of hormonal despair.